Friday, 12 December 2008

My advice so far....

If you really have not done anything wrong, then never ever say you have. Lets face it why should you. Do not give in to daily bullying, covert threats and intimidation. One day it will end. If you agree to certain 'parameters' they set, such as parenting classes you are inadvertently saying 'hey, i'm an awful parent who needs help' whereas you should be saying 'my parenting skills are fine thank you'. The promise that you will then get your child back will fall through.

Never be rude otherwise you will be deemed as having some kind of personality disorder. However I believe I should not be accused of having any type of personality disorder or any other psychological disorder. My fear of the Social Services is extremely well founded. Had my next door neighbour committed the acts that 'come in No 1 you're sacked' has then I'm sure they would be facing a stint behind bars not enjoying protection from the States. Both my neighbour and 'come in No 1 you're sacked' would have the same legal rights in this case - none.

Health and Social Services - the service we should be proud of, is failing catastrophically in many areas. This is the service dealing with the most precious things in life - people. Without people, material things would be worth nothing, a tree would not care if it had the latest Mercedes or a battered Fiat next to it - so why should we? There is no excuse for the unnecessary destruction of a family. I am begining to think they may have the aim of the New World Order which includes the dissolution of family life, and one nice big happy Government. That's a thought, the financial markets going down, banks etc - Government takeovers - next smaller Governments fall - Government takeovers and after a few more chain reaction take-overs, hey presto - One Government!

So a few tips of advice just incase you ever are unfortunate enough to need them:

Never let them in the door without showing you (and you reading it) a warrant, and put a chain on your door if you have not already got one. If they try and force it open without a warrant, it is a criminal offence.

If you have done nothing wrong never admit to something you have not done (they can try and trick you into this one).

If they have your children already with no care order and there are no restrictions on you imposed by the police etc, go and get them.

Do not believe what they tell you, they can be proved to lie to get the results they want. This reminds me of the film Matilda, with Miss Trunchable saying 'I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it'.

Remember do not give them the box of bullets to shoot you with - metaphorically speaking of course.

I'll add to the advice as I continue this blog. A close friend of mine had been put in the sitution of being too frightened to call the police because of the intimidation from the SS when she was with her husband and reported him for assault. She's agreed to share her experience and I will do a separate post for her at a later date, but I will say that instead of helping they made her feel like a victim all over again.

This week has been odd for me, getting Christmas things sorted, which in this house is like a small military operation, the sadness of a part of us not here, and yet the elation of accepting my BSc (hons), after 7 years of study is clouded by my family been kept apart by the SS.


Anonymous said...

having read all your blogs which are deeply disturbing I have to take my hat off to you for (trying )to stand up to these bullies I have heard enough about these individuals from my husband.years ago they arrived in scotland going from door to door snooping in family life and trying to control every aspect of family life.every child in that era was quite happy with their childhood as every-one was the same until they came along and told them they were not happy and started questioning kids about the life-style of their parents what they had for meals etc.their were hounded out only to go to the next town with the same garbage.the lowest of the low is too good a word to desribe them keep up the fight oneday

Anonymous said...

Hi One Day,

I agree- they are just like the Trunchball.

When dealing with Social Services I was advised to-

- to be 100% polite.
- never to answer back or speak my mind.
- to keep nodding in agreement with them.
- to comply without resistance.
- to show a huge willingness to change things to meet their suggestions.
- to behave in a subservient manner.
- to make them feel like I was looking up to them and grateful for them.

I was warned that to play this game would be very difficult after what they did (kind of similar situation to your family). I was told it was the only way if I wanted my kids back. (they had been removed). So I went through the motions and bit my tongue from the moment that in-humane human being walked in my house. Incidentally, they don't like to see a messy home because they think it reflects poor parenting. How ridiculous is that! Our home is messy because we are an active household. We do stuff with our kids. If I spent all my free time cleaning it to perfection, I would be avoiding my parental responsibilities.

A warning for anyone unlucky enough to get caught up with social services...They know what's best for your child, you don't. You are scum in their eyes and they will treat you like scum. You have no voice, no opportunity to challenge them or speak the truth. They are closed thinking. They don't want to know your story, they wont listen to you. They go on the way you present yourself at the time of dealing with them so you can not afford to be anything other than compliant and agreeable. Disagreeing with them is futile. They ruin lives and families but they don't see it that way.

One Day said...

Sorry to hear that you have been in a similar situation and i totally agree with all you say. However I am not very good at being the way you were advised (I've been told the same), I point blank will not, ever admit to something I have not done :) As for a messy house, I would be more worried if I went into a family home and everything was in its place. I will do a more indepth post on this soon as it is a good point. A messy house could actually land you being charged with neglect if they so wish, the law is so vague they could trump up vertually anything a parent does and then use it against them.